I read recently that there is an overwhelming difference between how men and women respond when they bump (physically) into each other. The majority of women are quick to apologize, even if they were the ones bowled over by a runaway train with a Blackberry.
Not too long ago, a fellow ninja (and longtime friend) shared an interesting observation with me. She said, "When I used to work in a building with an elevator, I was amazed at how many women got on the elevator and said, 'Sorry.' Really, it's like one in three women in the building did this, and no men ever did. I could never figure it out. Sorry for taking up space? Weird. Another woman, a brilliant young executive, preceded every single thing she said in business meetings with, 'Sorry, but I thought..'"
I'll be the first to admit that I'm overly apologetic. It's something I work on NOT doing daily, no hourly. Why? Sorry diminishes the power of your opinions, all but writing off the point you are about to drive home. An apology is defined as "an acknowledgement expressing regret or asking pardon for a fault or offense.' It is no grave offense to enter an elevator, take up space, or have a point of view. Save your hearty sorrys for when you are caught half-naked with the new mailroom hotty in the Starbucks bathroom on your "sick day." Now, that's an appropriate time for a, "Goodness me, I'm just so SORRY! There happened to be this spontaneous tornado alert and we hid in the bathroom and then there were aliens and chaos and a dog ate my clothes and cured me of my cold!!"
I'm learning not to live my life as one big apology. It's definitely not the ninja-way.
Until next time,
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