Life is like a river - always moving, changing, gushing, rushing, whipping, brimming, frenetic, all at once - just like your typical Monday. You can either go with its flow or you can stand in the middle, waving your hands liike a frenetic traffic conductor, and make futile attempts to stop it. I have acted like an obssessive-compulsive conductor at times, needing to control the exact longitudinal direction of the flow, at what speed it might run and toward which coordinate it will head, and then washing my hands repeatedly thereafter. I have tried to organize the river in a vain attempt to make others see a vision and promptly get on that plan.
Whenever I've tried to exert control over this massive river, I've always ended up getting flung around in its white-water rapids and spit out onto its bank, clear once again about who's the boss. The river. The impetus behind my (what seems to be occurring more frequently of late) tight tunnel vision is the the deep-seated doubt that life, left to its own devices, will do me right. If I just control it "enough," then it'll be exactly as I need it, without deviations, disasters or random damages. Because there are no appointments held open for "chance brutalization" on my schedule!
Truth be told, I am not only resistant to artibrary bruising like others of the human variety, I've been secretly resistant to good as well. Resistant to unexpected successses, windfalls or awards (all three of those potentially appearing in the form of a person, place, or a thing). The notion is peculiar, even to me. All I know is that, believe it or not, deep down inside I'm an extrovert of the painfully shy kind who sometimes acts like compliments are made of kryptonite. ( Yea, that's right - I'm from Krypton. Sorry girls, but Superman is such a player! And unfortunately, I was born a "sidekick," so no x-ray vision, no ability to fly or run faster than a speading bullet, no super-human strength... The only "powers" I have aren't what most would call "super..." I DO possess the highly underrated ability to multi-task, eat whatever I want and not gain weight, create very unusual and insulting swear words, do a hell of a back-bend, and can have multiple orgasms just by pressing... uh, well, heh maybe I should keep that little "power" to myself... Damn, it sucks to be me sometimes!;)
Think about that for a minute. What a stalled-out life - controlling the possibility of bad while rejecting the possibility of good!!
Good, bad or ugly, there really is only one choice - to be in the river and let her flow. It is in the river that miracles can happen. If you are always controlling the exact nature of your route you will miss the brilliance of falling off the path and happening upon a field of posies that inspires you into a whole new chapter of your life. Stumbling down a a dead end that brings you to your knees may teach you a new lesson that causes a total awakening. But that only happens when you're open to tthe natural detours and undulations of life. When you have tunnel vision, with a rigid set of marks you want to hit in life, there is no room left for the river's plan for you. It is like being hell-bent on heading to an envisioned tributary. "Must get to tributary, must get to tributary. It has three whole kohaku koi, a picket fence and a trout I really dig." But the river. The river, man, the river wants to take you up in her fury and brilliance, and drop you in her coolest, biggest tributary imaginable with gads of vibrant tropical fish, coral mistaken for jewels and a whole room full of dig-worthy trout. Get lost. Get swept Go for the flow.
I've learned the quest of the ninja isn't only to be in the river, but to be the river. Be the strength of the whipping current. Be the pliable fluidity of its changing waters - strong enough to withstand life's great waves of heartbreaks, disappointments and loss, but malleable enough to bend, not break, harmonizing with the ups and downs instead of bucking against them. The river is always morphing, moving, traveling, evolving, sometimes in silence and soemtimes in a rage. Gorgeous. Big. Surging.
All I know is that when you're in the river you just know it; you feel it. It's the undeniable tickle in your nose, the calm in your gut, the inspiration climbing up your throat; the feeling that you are in your moment. Be in your river. Get tossed, get taken, get carried to your most limitless tributaries.
Think about it.
Until next time...
