My Ninja Journey Part VII: "One of Life's Sweetest Pleasures"

"A kiss is something you cannot give without taking and cannot take without giving."

 "A kiss can be a comma, question mark or an exclamation point." 

~Mistinguett

"It is the passion that is in a kiss that gives to its sweetness; it is the affection that sanctifies it."
~Christain Nestell Bovee

Kissing. It conjures up a swash of wonderful emotions, sensations and meanings. Originally an instinctual prelude to mating, kissing has transformed humankind by becoming the universal glue that binds. A nonverbal communication that declares a thousand things. A bridge to our past, present and future. Destiny where "soul meets soul on lover's lips" (Percy B. Shelley).

A kiss is both given and received. It's spontaneous. Unique. Intuitive. Indelible. Secretive. Affectionate; passionate. Romantic and blissful. It can be sexual. Or pure. Innocent. Or provocative. It can't be faked. Its duality can bring great joy. Or deep sorrow. Render you weak. Or brave. Vulnerable. Or invincible. It can awaken. Or even kill. A link between our inner psyche and outer world, a kiss is a mysterious, yet revealing, life-sustaining force. A symbol of tragedy. And betrayal. Of greeting and farewell. Simple, yet so complex, its power is infinite.

A wise NGF (Ninja-GirlFriend) of mine once noted it's a sweet piece of the big loooovvvee puzzle. And most of us girls, being the super sleuths that we are (especially of the ninja-variety), have a remarkable ability to spend an inordinate amount of time considering this intricate and intriguing mystery of the heart. In our pursuit of romantic nirvana, we think about kissing inside and out. Front, back and center. Morning, noon and night. In the shower; driving. Shopping. Doing our makeup. Sleeping. Whatever and whenever.

When the self-evaluation is semi-digested, we discuss it with our fellow NGFs. Sharing experiences, looking for meaning, finding relevance in subtle nuances and casual gestures. Making a silk purse out of a sow's ear. It's amazing how our imaginations can spin yarn when it comes to this rather carnal activity, convincing us of truths that might not otherwise exist...

But beyond the shiverin', sexy-feel-good of it, what do we really know about kissing? Is it truly the doorway to the soul that poets wax on about? The barometer of connubial bliss? The yin to the yang? The moth to the flame?

For me, understanding the meaning of this potentially intoxicating interaction has become my manifest destiny. (Not really... "Manifest destiny" just sounded cool.) No, seriously and truthfully, I've long felt its gravitational pull. It's mesmerized me and preoccupied me. It's shaped my perception of things.

As a little girl, I remember believing that only married people could kiss on the lips. (Did I mention I had a very strict upbringing?) In my innocence, I sensed there was an intimacy to this sacred act that warranted an official union. How else did I account for various characters on TV who kissed each other? According to a six-year-old's code of ethics, thin pieces of cellophane must have sheathed their mouths, preventing unsanctioned lips from touching. (Clearly, I was already familiar with Medieval social manifestos on propriety and decorum because kissing was considered serious business back then. One could be forced to the altar if caught kissing in public!)

Eventually, (at the age of 24... no, just kidding) I came to realize that a blood test and license were not a prerequisite for locking lips. I'd also come to know that the quest for kissing of the truly romantic kind would be a tad challenging in "grown-up" life. Despite a spirit that's always been ready, my fulfillment would
swing from feast to famine.

Not long ago, I was experiencing a seemingly terminal kissing pause - the kind that has you appreciating just how a nun can live a life of chastity - when lo and behold, I found myself at a party standing next to a guy with major kiss-a-risma. He was chatting up the girl on his left, but his magnetic allure distracted me from my own party-companion. Somewhere toward the end of the evening, we started talking. I liked the way he thought. I liked the way his mouth looked when he talked. I liked the ease that washed over me. As we made our way away from the party, he suggested we find a coffee shop to continue the evening. We moved from Starbucks to CC's, sipping coffee and hot cocoa while sensing that palpable crescendo of chemistry and synchronicity. Somewhere in between deep personal questions like "Have you ever had a broken heart?", the kissing began. It was kissing of the highest order. A flatlined sex life was suddenly shocked back into a healthy rhythm... Sigh...

The kissing that occurred on that most memorable, sacred night would break the drawn-out dry spell. Almost overnight, a whistlin' tundra was transformed into a lush, tropical jungle. And so I began an unprecedented kissing romp-capade, jumping from lily pad to lily pad.

Months later, waking up one morning in a hazy state of early-dawn daydreams after an evening of some very scrumptious kissing, I began flipping through the "Boys I've Kissed" pin-up calendar in my mind. Seemingly forever possessing a 14-year-old mentality, I pulled myself out from under the cozy covers to scribble
down the jumbled "Kissing" file-cabinet that was suddenly unlocked from the deep corners of my mind.

These notes of historical (or hysterical) significance got me thinking about all the utterly delightful kissing experiences I've been lucky to have. Women are often told they'll need to kiss many a frog before they find their prince. Or that kissing is the key ingredient to a happy romantic life. Mostly, a kiss is simply a nice way to say hello. And spread a little love. It's also fun to do in the shower, at the movies, on a park bench, over a candlelit dinner, or in bed first thing in the morning. There's really no better way to spend time with someone you love, like, or unabashedly lust for. Whatever else it may be, kissing is a beautiful thing.

So spread a little love with a kiss. And remember the "Kissing Credo:"

Kiss with enthusiasm and respect. 
Kiss with adandon and no regret. 
Kiss knowing each one counts for something. 
And forever be in quest of kissing!

Until next time...